Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Horrible Jokes

I have a love of horrible jokes. If a joke makes me groan, I'm usually trying to tell it to someone new the next day. Puns, knock-knock jokes, even yo' mama jokes can give me chuckles for the rest of the day. I'm posting a few of my favorites that I heard recently; hopefully you, dear readers, will send me more! Leave your worst in the comments, so long as they don't go beyond a PG-13 rating.
What's the fastest word in the English language?
Milk; before you see it, it's pasturized! (from P. Durham)

An old woman sits down at a bar and orders a beer. The bartender nods. "Annheiser-Busch?"
"Great," the lady replies. "How's your schlong?" (from a Fark thread)

Knock knock? (Who's there?)
Ether. (Ether who?)
Ether bunny. Knock, knock! (Who's there?)
Cargo! (Cargo who?)
Cargo "beep, beep!" Run over Ether bunny. Knock, knock! (Who's there?!)
Boo! (Boo who?)
Aww, don't cry. Ether bunny be back next year! (from my dad)

"Doctor! There's a man at the door with a hideous face!"
'Tell him you already have one.'

"Can you solve a problem for me?"
'I'll try!'
"Take one sack of sawdust, two bales of hay, and two hundred cotton balls. . . . Have you got all that in your head?"
"I thought so!"

There you are. Now you, give me your worst!

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