Sunday, March 22, 2009

Musings Around A Big Number

I'm not really happy with my life right now.

Many things about it are right. I love my little family very much. I enjoy having the free time that I do. We're getting by financially; we eat good food. I exercise regularly. I stay entertained most of the time.

Some things about it are not right. We have very little money for new things, be they big as computers or small as new clothes. By the end of most days, I am tired of watching E. and happy to basically hand her off to V. My exercise doesn't yield the results I want (visible abs, and visible chest muscles). Exercising regularly doesn't really let me drink; I huff and puff through a routine I can normally complete without issue. (In fact, after some initial results, I'm seeing NOTHING from my exercise.) My relationship with J. ended. When V. leaves me in the evenings, I feel quite alone.

I'm going to be 30 this year. I've asked some friends to host a party for me. I'm not sure I want a party. I'm not sure what I want from things as they are now.

What I want is to get a simple job outside of the house. I'd get more time away from E., we would have money for new things, and I might meet some new people. I'd have to work.

This post doesn't have a good ending, because E. has been talking and telling me stories and wearing a bell.

1 comment:

Kev H said...

Hey man,

Re: Exercise

Don't stop. Your body will react pretty strongly to the initial change in habit. After that you have to work at it. Maybe you should change up the routine or start adding in another exercise.

How many push-ups are you doing on your upper-body days? If it's not in or approaching the triple digits, then it's not enough.

When I'm pushing it I do 5-10 sets of 20 in the AM & 5-10 sets of 20 in the PM. Beefcake. BEEFCAKE! ;)

Re: 30

30 sucks in that you really start to think about "being over the hill", but it's cool in that you feel motivated to do something about it (like 100-200 push ups three times a week). :)

Re: Everything else.

I'm so not qualified to answer. :p